Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
