Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
