I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
