Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
