I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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