New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
