Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
