I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
