I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Do vagina's smell?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
