Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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