Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
