okay pat passed out under dana's car
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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