Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
