You're so nebulous sometimes
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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