All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
