I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
