People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize