Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
