Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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