Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
