I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
