come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
