There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
