Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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