I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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