is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
