God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
