that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Randomize
