Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
