Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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