im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
