Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
