He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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