I skipped work to stalk him.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
