Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize