youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
two words: eviction party
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
