...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
