69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
