We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize
