I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize