She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
