There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
How external is "for external use only"?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
