You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
