you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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