Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
