I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Found your dick twin last night
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Never underestimate the power of titties
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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