No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
