i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
