I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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