You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
