He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
