he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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