mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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