In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
