Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
