i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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