so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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