why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
