Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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