ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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